No one prepares you for what means to have a business with your husband. It’s the most challenging thing I have been through. It still is. It has given me a great joy but some sleepless nights as well. It does not matter how many posts you read about “the 10th rules for couples working together” you’ll need to figure out together what makes sense for you and it will take time.
Personally the biggest challenge for me is to differentiate my emotions towards my colleague from my emotions towards my husband. How does one say ” I love you, but please finish issue #999 on project XYZ” or “You were great with the client today, could you please help and wash the dishes?”. I had to learn that I can be mad about work but that can’t affect my behaviour at home and the other way around too, specially when you have other people working with you. It’s true everyone needs to do the same exercise but it’s particularly important when your partner is your partner.
So why do I do it?
Building my own company is a dream I shared for years with Nuno, not necessarily together but it was always something we’ve talked about and at some point we thought we didn’t have nothing to loose we decided to try. First on a small project, it went well, then on a bigger one, and on a bigger one and then WidgiLabs. The true is that what makes us work as a couple it’s also what makes us work as partners. We complement each other, I am good on things Nuno isn’t and he is good on others I’m not, we know each other really well, and that, most of the times puts us in a sweet spot.
To be honest there isn’t a set of rules to make it work, this isn’t like a recipe, some days it will work somedays it won’t work and the sooner you’ll embrace that the sooner you’ll reach the balance that’s needed. Once in a while ask yourself if it’s worth it and remember why you are doing it.
Well… there is one rule… be good to each other and never go to bed upset.